And why you should too

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Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

I don’t talk about sex because I’m some sex crazed maniac. I like sex. I think it’s healthy and necessary but that’s not why I talk about sex. I talk about sex because I’m tired of men and women being shamed for having a healthy sex life. I can come up with other social, psychological, and biological issues that come from sex shaming.

The social issue that comes from sex shaming is that it makes a portion of healthy women appear to be of less value even though they, in fact, have a healthy sex life or even have a non existent sex life and are just open when it comes to talking about sex. It creates a division between humans that shouldn’t even be there. We can all learn from each other. Someone who has less sex may just be insecure and can learn from someone who has more sex. And someone who has more sex can learn to appreciate the sexual tension that comes from waiting in a healthy manor. Let’s not let sexual preferences divide it. It’s a loss of important learning experiences that could be had.

The psychological issues that come from sex shaming are vast. It could fester and turn into something dark and scary. It could just make someone feel isolated and lean more towards sex in an unhealthy manor or cause depression. Sex shaming causes an array of different mental issues especially since talking about it is so taboo. They may even feel too ashamed to bring it up to their Doctor or admit that they were raped. I could write an entire post on the negative psychological effects of sex shaming.

The biological issues that come with sex shaming. Well first, sex is innate. It is a natural thing that we all crave in some way, some more than others. Sex shaming doesn’t directly affect the biology but the mental issues that come with sex shaming does affect the biology. There are indirect ways that sex shaming affects us biologically. If someone is too ashamed to admit that they had sex they could have an std for too long and it could cause way more damage than it should have. If someone is ashamed of their innate desires it can actually change the way they enjoy physical stimulation. Also depression and anxiety from isolation and feeling shame can affect sexual arousal or even the medication prescribed to treat anxiety and depression can have negative affects on arousal

These are just a few reasons as to why sex shaming is in no way helpful to our species. If we want healthy sex lives we have to talk about what healthy sex lives look like.

Talking openly about needs in the bedroom

Having safe consensual sex without guilt

Getting medical care and feedback from health professionals

And believe it or not people who have healthy sex lives are less likely to shame others who have different preferences from them

Talk about sex

A writer and sensitive realist who takes risks with the intention of progress

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