My Fears as a Writer
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A Confession
I’m afraid of becoming an egotistical asshole if I sell too many books. Even though I very much want to sell my books. I also don’t want to feel like I have something to prove financially. I would be proud to be independent. To be a writer making enough to pay the bills. I just don’t want that to hinder my view of others. I don’t want to forget my struggle or my humanity. And lastly, I don’t want to lose appreciation for other writers. I want to be understanding and gentle and loving. I don’t want to snub someone because I’m a well paid writer and they aren’t.
There’s a thin line between discipline and chaos, between empathy and narcissism. The line is so thin in fact, that we can cross it without realizing it until we step away from a situation. Or until someone calls us out on our behavior. Yes, we all make mistakes. We all hurt the people we love most. And what’s important is to be accountable and honest when we mess up.
I don’t think this fear holds me back. And Freud would probably suggest the only thing holding me back is my childhood drowning. Either way, I’m getting closer and closer to selling my book and the shadow is growing. But I’m not going to let it stop me. I’m gong to sell my book whether I’m scared shitless or not.
What helps me when I afraid is to list the reasons why stepping through a particular fear is beneficial. So I thought I’d share some reasons why you should sell your book.
The World needs to have the opportunity to hear your story.
Sometimes I can get so wrapped up in my own fears that I forget that others are in some way living my same story. They can learn from how I published in spite of my fear. Do it to inspire other great writers to get their work published.
Sell your book to inspire others.
Make sure you’re selling your book because you’re giving them something they desire. Sell your books to lift others up, to expand their minds, to change yourself and those around you. We are all looking for a moment of realization or a moment away from it all. Sell your book knowing that you have something to offer.
You invested a lot of time and energy into it
