I crave breaks from momming. It’s a complex feeling because I don’t want to miss out on time with my daughters. However, I am a much better human when I have some time to myself. Sometimes I feel bad for needing a break. Other times, I get to the point where my feelings don’t matter anymore, I’m taking the break whether I miss out on something or not.
Being a parent is hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re a working mom, stay at home mom, single mom it’s all hard. I don’t discredit any of these mom lifestyles. We all need breaks. Working moms need breaks from work and kids. But they hear it all the time, “they grow up so fast enjoy them while you can.” That statement is crushing to a working mom. Especially, if she’s a single working mom. The internal conflict of needing to make money, needing quiet, and not wanting to miss out on your child, can cause a swarm of emotions.
Stay-at-home moms need breaks from their house, their kids, their cleaning but get a push back from the world suggesting that they do nothing all day, how could they possibly need a break. That they should be lucky for their life and not complain about needing a break. Even when they haven’t complained, they are simply asking for a break.
These ideas suggested by the community inside and outside of our homes can be discouraging. But it’s 2020 and things are weird enough, it’s time to ask for breaks mama’s. Or just air it out. Not everyone has the means to allow themselves a break. Just say the words, “I need a break and believe it.” Believe that your body is tired and your nerves are shot and that you are over stimulated by noise, touch, smell, and the wild thoughts that spin through your mind about doing your best as a parent or as a wife or just as a human being. We all need breaks and it’s important to accept that, whether you have support or not.
When you admit you need a break, I think it’d be an amazing thing to plan in some time to yourself. Even if you’re a single mom. It could just be that you plan to stay up a little later after you put the kids to bed, to take a bath or fall asleep watching your favorite tv show. We need to do this for ourselves so we can show other moms who are drowning in over-stimulation, or over-work, or depression from the internal conflict that it’s ok to need and to take a break from parenting.
Now’s the perfect time to start being ok with needing a break. Being so ok, that you make space for it in your schedule.