I Surrender
Not complacent. Not apathetic.
I’ve come to a place of surrender in my life. Not complacent. Not apathetic. I have reached a fully feeling, big dreaming, and pleasantly peaceful point in my life. I want all of what I dream of so bad, that I’m willing to trust the process that has been laid out in front of me for years. I’ve clung so hard to so much. I clung to what the elders in my life clung to. I clung to anxiety and not eating enough and not sleeping enough and making myself suffer in order to make my dreams come true. It’s so silly. We’ve really been raised to destroy ourselves as parents, as workers, as friends and lovers and as dreamers. I’m sorry to anyone who I looked down on because I thought you weren’t doing enough. Your actions are exactly what I needed to see was possible and ok and safe.
I’ve reached a place that I like. A place where I love myself and I love my home and coming home. I love my job and going to it. All that I do adds to making the world a better place. A healthy home to raise two strong women who will lead in our future, a job that supports a healthy community, a husband who’s growing along side me, and loving myself in the middle of it all.
When I was a kid it was hard to get me to do anything outside of my alignment. Even as a teenager being out of alignment was hard for me. They called me naïve and prude and whatever else and I probably…
