I have copy and pasted some different viewpoints on Codependency. Codependency looks normal in a society that sweeps mental health under the carpet. Makes me want to print this out and tape it to my wall for when I feel a bout of reactivity taking over my brain space.
Accodring to Wikipedia, “Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.”
According to Psychology Today, “Growing up with an unreliable or unavailable parent means taking on the role of caretaker and/or enabler. A child in this situation puts the parent’s needs first. Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. As a result, its members repress emotions and disregard their own needs to focus on the needs of the unavailable parent(s). When the “parentified” child becomes an adult, he or she repeats the same dynamic in their adult relationships.”
According to PositivePsychology.com, “The main consequence of codependency is that “[c]odependents, busy taking care of others, forget to take care of themselves, resulting in a disturbance of identity development” (Knudson & Terrell, 2012).
20 Signs Of Codependency (Via PositivePsychology.com)
What does codependency actually look like? Some of the things that have been found to correlate with codependency include (Marks et al., 2012):
- Low self-esteem;
- Low levels of narcissism;
- Familial dysfunction;
- Low emotional expressivity.
Other signs of codependency include (Lancer, 2016; Mental Health America):
- Having a hard time saying no;
- Having poor boundaries;
- Showing emotional reactivity;
- Feeling compelled to take care of people;
- Having a need for control, especially over others;
- Having trouble communicating honestly;
- Fixating on mistakes;
- Feeling a need to be liked by everyone;
- Feeling a need to always be in a relationship;
- Denying one’s own needs, thoughts, and feelings;
- Having intimacy issues;
- Confusing love and pity;
- Displaying fear of abandonment.
Recovering from Codependency according to Psychology Today, “Treatment for codependency often involves exploration of early childhood issues and their connection to current dysfunctional behavior patterns.”